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Why don't Japanese people say "I love you"? (1)

I've been thinking about it ever since I heard a month ago from a friend who is in an international relationship that her Japanese partner doesn't say "I love you" very often.🤔
1ヶ月前に、国際恋愛をしている友人から「日本人のパートナーがあまり愛してると言ってくれない」と聞いてから、ずっとその事を考えていました。

I finally got my thoughts together, so please read on. 🧐It's very long, so I'm going to split it into several parts.
やっと考えがまとまったので、読んでください。とても長いので何回かに分けるつもりです。


Don't Japanese people really say "愛(あい)してる I love you"?
本当に日本人は「愛してる」と言わないの？
I asked three of my colleagues who are married. "Have you ever said '愛(あい)してるI love you' to someone you're dating or to your husband?"
After two seconds of thought🤔, they replied, 
"Never..."
結婚している同僚3人に聞いてみました。「付き合っている人や夫に愛してる、と言ったことある？」
2秒考えて彼女達は答えました。
「ないなぁ」

I changed the question. "If you had to say it three times in your life, when would you say it? Would you say it at your wedding or when you die?" The women thought for a second and asked me back. "Would you say it? You wouldn't.
"The word '愛(あい)してるI love you' is just for songs and dramas, at least that’s the case in the Kansai area."😆
質問を変えてみました。「人生のうちで3回言うとしたら、それはいつ？結婚式とか、死ぬ時かな？」1秒考えて、聞き返されました。「言う？言わないでしょう。愛しているという言葉は、歌やドラマの世界の話で、少なくとも関西圏では言わないよ」と。

I'm sorry for the lack of data, but it certainly doesn't seem to be used in the Kansai area.
"But," one of them said, a little embarrassed.🤭 She just got married a month ago. "I don't say 愛(あい)してるI love you, but I say 好(す)きI love you💕 a lot," she said.
少ないデータでごめんなさい。でも、確かに関西圏では使わないような気がします。
「でも」その時、一人が少し照れながら言いました。彼女は1ヶ月前に結婚したばかりです。「愛してるは言わないけど、好き、はたくさん言うよ」と。

I don't feel comfortable with the translation.
翻訳に違和感がある
In my personal opinion, I feel a little uncomfortable with this translation of "I love you=愛(あい)してる".
私個人の意見ですが、私はこの「I love you=愛してる」の翻訳に少し違和感があります。

"I think "I love you." is better translated as "好(す)き" or "大好(だいす)き".
I think "I love you" is used more casually by native speakers, as a greeting to family and friends. Isn't that right?
「I love you.」の翻訳は「好き」とか「大好き」がしっくりくるような気がします。
「I love you」はネイティブにとってはもっとカジュアルで、家族や友人にも挨拶ぐらいの感覚で気軽に使われている気がします。違いますか？

For Japanese people, "好(す)き" and "大好(だいす)き" have a similar feeling. "We say, "お母(かあ)さん、好(す)きI love you🤗, mother." In some cases, the object is not a person. For example, "チョコレート大好(だいす)きI love chocolate.😋"
日本人にとっても「好き」や「大好き」はそれに近い感覚があります。「お母さん、好き」と言います。対象が人でない場合もあります。「チョコレート大好き」とか。

A wonderful translation of Soseki Natsume
夏目漱石の名翻訳
I would like to share with you the story of a famous Japanese writer, Soseki Natsume, who wrote a wonderful translation of "I love you".
Soseki Natsume (1867-1916) was one of Japan's most famous writers, and wrote books such as "こころ Kokoro", "吾輩(わがはい)は猫(ねこ)であるI am a Cat" , and "坊(ぼ)っちゃん Botchan (Master Darling)".
He once studied in England for the study of English literature.
日本で有名な夏目漱石という作家が「I love you.」の素晴らしい翻訳をしたというエピソードを紹介します。
夏目漱石(1867-1916)は日本の代表的な作家で、「こころ」「吾輩は猫である」「坊っちゃん」などの本を書きました。
英文学研究のため、イギリスに留学していた事もあります。

Soseki Natsume, when he was an English teacher, said to his student who translated "I love you" as "我(われ)君(きみ)を愛(あい)す(←😉This is old wording, we don't use it anymore.)",  He said, "Japanese people don't say that, you should translate it as "月(つき)が綺麗(きれい)ですね。The moon is beautiful, isn't it?".
英語教師をしていた頃の夏目漱石が、「I love you」を「我君を愛す」と翻訳した教え子を見て、「日本人はそんなことは言わない。月が綺麗ですねとでも訳しておけ」なんて言ったというエピソードがあります。

However, the source of this episode is not known, and I don't know if it is true or not.
But I think this is much more heartfelt than the translation "愛してるI love you".
ただ、このエピソードの出処は分かっておらず、真実のほどは分かりません。
でも、これは「愛している」という訳よりも、ずっと心に響くように私は思うのです。

When you see something beautiful, do you ever think of someone else? Maybe that person was someone you loved.
I'm sure the person you want to show that beautiful thing to, or see it with, is someone you love.
Looking up at the same moon and thinking about each other is kind of romantic, isn't it?🤗✨💕
美しい物を見た時に、誰かの事を思い浮かべた事はありますか。その誰かはあなたの愛する人だったのではないでしょうか。
その美しい物を見せてあげたい、一緒に見たいと思う相手は、きっとあなたが愛する人だと思います。
同じ月を見上げながらお互いの事を想い合う関係は、なんだかロマンチックですよね。

In today's world, I do not recommend using this word for your first confession. And if the other person doesn't know about this episode, they might not get the message.😅
現代では初めての告白にこの言葉を使うのはおすすめしません。相手がこのエピソードを知らなければ伝わらないかもしれませんしね。

Look forward to the next article.😉
次回の記事をお楽しみに
Aside from translation issues, Japanese people may not be used to exchanging direct words of love, hugs and kisses, even between lovers.
翻訳の問題は別としても、確かに日本人は恋人同士でも直接的な愛の言葉を交わしたり、ハグやキスなどをする事に慣れていないかもしれません。

There are very few people in Japan who hug or kiss each other, especially in public.
I personally believe that this is related to the unique housing situation in Japan. I will explain about this in my next article.😉
特に人前でハグやキスをする人はほとんどいません。
それは日本独特の住宅事情が関係していると個人的に考えています。これについては、次回の記事で説明しますね。

If you're interested in Japanese literature, take a look at this too.
日本文学に興味があれば、これも見てね。

To read more of Soseki Natsume's works, click here.
夏目漱石の作品を読みたい方はこちら

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Comments

  1. ヤンDecember 24, 2021 at 9:06 PM

    面白い文化のポイントですね!フランス人は"je t'aime"とよく言います。妻ととかお子さんととか、両親ととか

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. mogApril 8, 2022 at 5:22 PM

      ヤンさん、お返事遅くなり申し訳ありません。
      「愛している」とお互いに言葉にする文化も素敵ですね。私はどちらかというと「愛している」と言われたいタイプです＾＾

      Delete

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