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Why don't Japanese people say "I love you"? (1)

I've been thinking about it ever since I heard a month ago from a friend who is in an international relationship that her Japanese partner doesn't say "I love you" very often.๐Ÿค”
1ใƒถๆœˆๅ‰ใซใ€ๅ›ฝ้š›ๆ‹ๆ„›ใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅ‹ไบบใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€Œๆ—ฅๆœฌไบบใฎใƒ‘ใƒผใƒˆใƒŠใƒผใŒใ‚ใพใ‚Šๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹ใจ่จ€ใฃใฆใใ‚Œใชใ„ใ€ใจ่žใ„ใฆใ‹ใ‚‰ใ€ใšใฃใจใใฎไบ‹ใ‚’่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚

I finally got my thoughts together, so please read on. ๐ŸงIt's very long, so I'm going to split it into several parts.
ใ‚„ใฃใจ่€ƒใˆใŒใพใจใพใฃใŸใฎใงใ€่ชญใ‚“ใงใใ ใ•ใ„ใ€‚ใจใฆใ‚‚้•ทใ„ใฎใงไฝ•ๅ›žใ‹ใซๅˆ†ใ‘ใ‚‹ใคใ‚‚ใ‚Šใงใ™ใ€‚


Don't Japanese people really say "ๆ„›(ใ‚ใ„)ใ—ใฆใ‚‹ I love you"?
ๆœฌๅฝ“ใซๆ—ฅๆœฌไบบใฏใ€Œๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ‚ใชใ„ใฎ๏ผŸ
I asked three of my colleagues who are married. "Have you ever said 'ๆ„›(ใ‚ใ„)ใ—ใฆใ‚‹I love you' to someone you're dating or to your husband?"
After two seconds of thought๐Ÿค”, they replied, 
"Never..."
็ตๅฉšใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๅŒๅƒš3ไบบใซ่žใ„ใฆใฟใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ใ€Œไป˜ใๅˆใฃใฆใ„ใ‚‹ไบบใ‚„ๅคซใซๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่จ€ใฃใŸใ“ใจใ‚ใ‚‹๏ผŸใ€
2็ง’่€ƒใˆใฆๅฝผๅฅณ้”ใฏ็ญ”ใˆใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
ใ€Œใชใ„ใชใใ€

I changed the question. "If you had to say it three times in your life, when would you say it? Would you say it at your wedding or when you die?" The women thought for a second and asked me back. "Would you say it? You wouldn't.
"The word 'ๆ„›(ใ‚ใ„)ใ—ใฆใ‚‹I love you' is just for songs and dramas, at least thatโ€™s the case in the Kansai area."๐Ÿ˜†
่ณชๅ•ใ‚’ๅค‰ใˆใฆใฟใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ใ€Œไบบ็”Ÿใฎใ†ใกใง3ๅ›ž่จ€ใ†ใจใ—ใŸใ‚‰ใ€ใใ‚Œใฏใ„ใค๏ผŸ็ตๅฉšๅผใจใ‹ใ€ๆญปใฌๆ™‚ใ‹ใช๏ผŸใ€1็ง’่€ƒใˆใฆใ€่žใ่ฟ”ใ•ใ‚Œใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ใ€Œ่จ€ใ†๏ผŸ่จ€ใ‚ใชใ„ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ€‚ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจใ„ใ†่จ€่‘‰ใฏใ€ๆญŒใ‚„ใƒ‰ใƒฉใƒžใฎไธ–็•Œใฎ่ฉฑใงใ€ๅฐ‘ใชใใจใ‚‚้–ข่ฅฟๅœใงใฏ่จ€ใ‚ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ€ใจใ€‚

I'm sorry for the lack of data, but it certainly doesn't seem to be used in the Kansai area.
"But," one of them said, a little embarrassed.๐Ÿคญ She just got married a month ago. "I don't say ๆ„›(ใ‚ใ„)ใ—ใฆใ‚‹I love you, but I say ๅฅฝ(ใ™)ใI love you๐Ÿ’• a lot," she said.
ๅฐ‘ใชใ„ใƒ‡ใƒผใ‚ฟใงใ”ใ‚ใ‚“ใชใ•ใ„ใ€‚ใงใ‚‚ใ€็ขบใ‹ใซ้–ข่ฅฟๅœใงใฏไฝฟใ‚ใชใ„ใ‚ˆใ†ใชๆฐ—ใŒใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
ใ€Œใงใ‚‚ใ€ใใฎๆ™‚ใ€ไธ€ไบบใŒๅฐ‘ใ—็…งใ‚ŒใชใŒใ‚‰่จ€ใ„ใพใ—ใŸใ€‚ๅฝผๅฅณใฏ1ใƒถๆœˆๅ‰ใซ็ตๅฉšใ—ใŸใฐใ‹ใ‚Šใงใ™ใ€‚ใ€Œๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹ใฏ่จ€ใ‚ใชใ„ใ‘ใฉใ€ๅฅฝใใ€ใฏใŸใใ•ใ‚“่จ€ใ†ใ‚ˆใ€ใจใ€‚

I don't feel comfortable with the translation.
็ฟป่จณใซ้•ๅ’Œๆ„ŸใŒใ‚ใ‚‹
In my personal opinion, I feel a little uncomfortable with this translation of "I love you=ๆ„›(ใ‚ใ„)ใ—ใฆใ‚‹".
็งๅ€‹ไบบใฎๆ„่ฆ‹ใงใ™ใŒใ€็งใฏใ“ใฎใ€ŒI love you=ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹ใ€ใฎ็ฟป่จณใซๅฐ‘ใ—้•ๅ’Œๆ„ŸใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚

"I think "I love you." is better translated as "ๅฅฝ(ใ™)ใ" or "ๅคงๅฅฝ(ใ ใ„ใ™)ใ".
I think "I love you" is used more casually by native speakers, as a greeting to family and friends. Isn't that right?
ใ€ŒI love you.ใ€ใฎ็ฟป่จณใฏใ€Œๅฅฝใใ€ใจใ‹ใ€Œๅคงๅฅฝใใ€ใŒใ—ใฃใใ‚Šใใ‚‹ใ‚ˆใ†ใชๆฐ—ใŒใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
ใ€ŒI love youใ€ใฏใƒใ‚คใƒ†ใ‚ฃใƒ–ใซใจใฃใฆใฏใ‚‚ใฃใจใ‚ซใ‚ธใƒฅใ‚ขใƒซใงใ€ๅฎถๆ—ใ‚„ๅ‹ไบบใซใ‚‚ๆŒจๆ‹ถใใ‚‰ใ„ใฎๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใงๆฐ—่ปฝใซไฝฟใ‚ใ‚Œใฆใ„ใ‚‹ๆฐ—ใŒใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚้•ใ„ใพใ™ใ‹๏ผŸ

For Japanese people, "ๅฅฝ(ใ™)ใ" and "ๅคงๅฅฝ(ใ ใ„ใ™)ใ" have a similar feeling. "We say, "ใŠๆฏ(ใ‹ใ‚)ใ•ใ‚“ใ€ๅฅฝ(ใ™)ใI love you๐Ÿค—, mother." In some cases, the object is not a person. For example, "ใƒใƒงใ‚ณใƒฌใƒผใƒˆๅคงๅฅฝ(ใ ใ„ใ™)ใI love chocolate.๐Ÿ˜‹"
ๆ—ฅๆœฌไบบใซใจใฃใฆใ‚‚ใ€Œๅฅฝใใ€ใ‚„ใ€Œๅคงๅฅฝใใ€ใฏใใ‚Œใซ่ฟ‘ใ„ๆ„Ÿ่ฆšใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ใ€ŒใŠๆฏใ•ใ‚“ใ€ๅฅฝใใ€ใจ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ๅฏพ่ฑกใŒไบบใงใชใ„ๅ ดๅˆใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚ใ€Œใƒใƒงใ‚ณใƒฌใƒผใƒˆๅคงๅฅฝใใ€ใจใ‹ใ€‚

A wonderful translation of Soseki Natsume
ๅค็›ฎๆผฑ็Ÿณใฎๅ็ฟป่จณ
I would like to share with you the story of a famous Japanese writer, Soseki Natsume, who wrote a wonderful translation of "I love you".
Soseki Natsume (1867-1916) was one of Japan's most famous writers, and wrote books such as "ใ“ใ“ใ‚ Kokoro", "ๅพ่ผฉ(ใ‚ใŒใฏใ„)ใฏ็Œซ(ใญใ“)ใงใ‚ใ‚‹I am a Cat" , and "ๅŠ(ใผ)ใฃใกใ‚ƒใ‚“ Botchan (Master Darling)".
He once studied in England for the study of English literature.
ๆ—ฅๆœฌใงๆœ‰ๅใชๅค็›ฎๆผฑ็Ÿณใจใ„ใ†ไฝœๅฎถใŒใ€ŒI love you.ใ€ใฎ็ด ๆ™ดใ‚‰ใ—ใ„็ฟป่จณใ‚’ใ—ใŸใจใ„ใ†ใ‚จใƒ”ใ‚ฝใƒผใƒ‰ใ‚’็ดนไป‹ใ—ใพใ™ใ€‚
ๅค็›ฎๆผฑ็Ÿณ(1867-1916)ใฏๆ—ฅๆœฌใฎไปฃ่กจ็š„ใชไฝœๅฎถใงใ€ใ€Œใ“ใ“ใ‚ใ€ใ€Œๅพ่ผฉใฏ็Œซใงใ‚ใ‚‹ใ€ใ€ŒๅŠใฃใกใ‚ƒใ‚“ใ€ใชใฉใฎๆœฌใ‚’ๆ›ธใใพใ—ใŸใ€‚
่‹ฑๆ–‡ๅญฆ็ ”็ฉถใฎใŸใ‚ใ€ใ‚คใ‚ฎใƒชใ‚นใซ็•™ๅญฆใ—ใฆใ„ใŸไบ‹ใ‚‚ใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚

Soseki Natsume, when he was an English teacher, said to his student who translated "I love you" as "ๆˆ‘(ใ‚ใ‚Œ)ๅ›(ใใฟ)ใ‚’ๆ„›(ใ‚ใ„)ใ™(โ†๐Ÿ˜‰This is old wording, we don't use it anymore.)",  He said, "Japanese people don't say that, you should translate it as "ๆœˆ(ใคใ)ใŒ็ถบ้บ—(ใใ‚Œใ„)ใงใ™ใญใ€‚The moon is beautiful, isn't it?".
่‹ฑ่ชžๆ•™ๅธซใ‚’ใ—ใฆใ„ใŸ้ ƒใฎๅค็›ฎๆผฑ็ŸณใŒใ€ใ€ŒI love youใ€ใ‚’ใ€Œๆˆ‘ๅ›ใ‚’ๆ„›ใ™ใ€ใจ็ฟป่จณใ—ใŸๆ•™ใˆๅญใ‚’่ฆ‹ใฆใ€ใ€Œๆ—ฅๆœฌไบบใฏใใ‚“ใชใ“ใจใฏ่จ€ใ‚ใชใ„ใ€‚ๆœˆใŒ็ถบ้บ—ใงใ™ใญใจใงใ‚‚่จณใ—ใฆใŠใ‘ใ€ใชใ‚“ใฆ่จ€ใฃใŸใจใ„ใ†ใ‚จใƒ”ใ‚ฝใƒผใƒ‰ใŒใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ€‚

However, the source of this episode is not known, and I don't know if it is true or not.
But I think this is much more heartfelt than the translation "ๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ‚‹I love you".
ใŸใ ใ€ใ“ใฎใ‚จใƒ”ใ‚ฝใƒผใƒ‰ใฎๅ‡บๅ‡ฆใฏๅˆ†ใ‹ใฃใฆใŠใ‚‰ใšใ€็œŸๅฎŸใฎใปใฉใฏๅˆ†ใ‹ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
ใงใ‚‚ใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใฏใ€Œๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใจใ„ใ†่จณใ‚ˆใ‚Šใ‚‚ใ€ใšใฃใจๅฟƒใซ้Ÿฟใใ‚ˆใ†ใซ็งใฏๆ€ใ†ใฎใงใ™ใ€‚

When you see something beautiful, do you ever think of someone else? Maybe that person was someone you loved.
I'm sure the person you want to show that beautiful thing to, or see it with, is someone you love.
Looking up at the same moon and thinking about each other is kind of romantic, isn't it?๐Ÿค—โœจ๐Ÿ’•
็พŽใ—ใ„็‰ฉใ‚’่ฆ‹ใŸๆ™‚ใซใ€่ชฐใ‹ใฎไบ‹ใ‚’ๆ€ใ„ๆตฎใ‹ในใŸไบ‹ใฏใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ™ใ‹ใ€‚ใใฎ่ชฐใ‹ใฏใ‚ใชใŸใฎๆ„›ใ™ใ‚‹ไบบใ ใฃใŸใฎใงใฏใชใ„ใงใ—ใ‚‡ใ†ใ‹ใ€‚
ใใฎ็พŽใ—ใ„็‰ฉใ‚’่ฆ‹ใ›ใฆใ‚ใ’ใŸใ„ใ€ไธ€็ท’ใซ่ฆ‹ใŸใ„ใจๆ€ใ†็›ธๆ‰‹ใฏใ€ใใฃใจใ‚ใชใŸใŒๆ„›ใ™ใ‚‹ไบบใ ใจๆ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚
ๅŒใ˜ๆœˆใ‚’่ฆ‹ไธŠใ’ใชใŒใ‚‰ใŠไบ’ใ„ใฎไบ‹ใ‚’ๆƒณใ„ๅˆใ†้–ขไฟ‚ใฏใ€ใชใ‚“ใ ใ‹ใƒญใƒžใƒณใƒใƒƒใ‚ฏใงใ™ใ‚ˆใญใ€‚

In today's world, I do not recommend using this word for your first confession. And if the other person doesn't know about this episode, they might not get the message.๐Ÿ˜…
็พไปฃใงใฏๅˆใ‚ใฆใฎๅ‘Š็™ฝใซใ“ใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ไฝฟใ†ใฎใฏใŠใ™ใ™ใ‚ใ—ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚็›ธๆ‰‹ใŒใ“ใฎใ‚จใƒ”ใ‚ฝใƒผใƒ‰ใ‚’็Ÿฅใ‚‰ใชใ‘ใ‚Œใฐไผใ‚ใ‚‰ใชใ„ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ—ใญใ€‚

Look forward to the next article.๐Ÿ˜‰
ๆฌกๅ›žใฎ่จ˜ไบ‹ใ‚’ใŠๆฅฝใ—ใฟใซ
Aside from translation issues, Japanese people may not be used to exchanging direct words of love, hugs and kisses, even between lovers.
็ฟป่จณใฎๅ•้กŒใฏๅˆฅใจใ—ใฆใ‚‚ใ€็ขบใ‹ใซๆ—ฅๆœฌไบบใฏๆ‹ไบบๅŒๅฃซใงใ‚‚็›ดๆŽฅ็š„ใชๆ„›ใฎ่จ€่‘‰ใ‚’ไบคใ‚ใ—ใŸใ‚Šใ€ใƒใ‚ฐใ‚„ใ‚ญใ‚นใชใฉใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ไบ‹ใซๆ…ฃใ‚Œใฆใ„ใชใ„ใ‹ใ‚‚ใ—ใ‚Œใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚

There are very few people in Japan who hug or kiss each other, especially in public.
I personally believe that this is related to the unique housing situation in Japan. I will explain about this in my next article.๐Ÿ˜‰
็‰นใซไบบๅ‰ใงใƒใ‚ฐใ‚„ใ‚ญใ‚นใ‚’ใ™ใ‚‹ไบบใฏใปใจใ‚“ใฉใ„ใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
ใใ‚Œใฏๆ—ฅๆœฌ็‹ฌ็‰นใฎไฝๅฎ…ไบ‹ๆƒ…ใŒ้–ขไฟ‚ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใจๅ€‹ไบบ็š„ใซ่€ƒใˆใฆใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ใ“ใ‚Œใซใคใ„ใฆใฏใ€ๆฌกๅ›žใฎ่จ˜ไบ‹ใง่ชฌๆ˜Žใ—ใพใ™ใญใ€‚

If you're interested in Japanese literature, take a look at this too.
ๆ—ฅๆœฌๆ–‡ๅญฆใซ่ˆˆๅ‘ณใŒใ‚ใ‚Œใฐใ€ใ“ใ‚Œใ‚‚่ฆ‹ใฆใญใ€‚

To read more of Soseki Natsume's works, click here.
ๅค็›ฎๆผฑ็Ÿณใฎไฝœๅ“ใ‚’่ชญใฟใŸใ„ๆ–นใฏใ“ใกใ‚‰

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  1. ้ข็™ฝใ„ๆ–‡ๅŒ–ใฎใƒใ‚คใƒณใƒˆใงใ™ใญ!ใƒ•ใƒฉใƒณใ‚นไบบใฏ"je t'aime"ใจใ‚ˆใ่จ€ใ„ใพใ™ใ€‚ๅฆปใจใจใ‹ใŠๅญใ•ใ‚“ใจใจใ‹ใ€ไธก่ฆชใจใจใ‹

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    1. ใƒคใƒณใ•ใ‚“ใ€ใŠ่ฟ”ไบ‹้…ใใชใ‚Š็”ณใ—่จณใ‚ใ‚Šใพใ›ใ‚“ใ€‚
      ใ€Œๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใจใŠไบ’ใ„ใซ่จ€่‘‰ใซใ™ใ‚‹ๆ–‡ๅŒ–ใ‚‚็ด ๆ•ตใงใ™ใญใ€‚็งใฏใฉใกใ‚‰ใ‹ใจใ„ใ†ใจใ€Œๆ„›ใ—ใฆใ„ใ‚‹ใ€ใจ่จ€ใ‚ใ‚ŒใŸใ„ใ‚ฟใ‚คใƒ—ใงใ™๏ผพ๏ผพ

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